Spider!

This morning while I was reading to the kids on the couch, Adam looked up on the ceiling and started yelling, "Our spider! Our spider!" Remember the spider from our Christmas tree? Well, apparently, this was "him." Instantly, all three kids were cooing over our pet arachnid telling him how they missed him, etc. Liana announced that his name is Frederick, and they were all three tickled to see that Frederick's house is a web in the corner, which, I'm sure they will daily inspect to make sure is still in tact, safe and sound. *sigh* They couldn't wait to show Papa that it made it all the way through the winter and was still in our house. John asked them if they were sure this was the same one, and Adam told him that this one was the same, but it had just grown up. (This was a bigger spider than the one on our tree...) *sigh*

Recovery Ramblings

What a week! I've been well-taken care of by my hubby and my kids, but I'm all set to be "well." Poor John has been trying to work from home on the computer, and with three kids, that's been tough. He's been constantly frustrated.

Liana has been Little Miss Mother Hen. There is no doubt in my mind that if we let her, she could take perfect care of me all by herself. She's just vertically-challenged right now. She even had to turn my flowers "just right" so the pretty side was toward me. Liana would make an awesome nurse. She's so no-nonsense, and trusts her gut, and pretty much, she's usually right. She's sure become my right-hand gal. Not just since I've been sick. If I tell her I need help with something, she's right there, and there's no doubt she's going to do a top-notch job.

Aleksa has been a little sweetie too. She's extra gentle, and her love of pretending that I'm her "la-la" has kicked in a few times and she's enjoyed playing with my hair, and pretending to put me to sleep, etc. All the while, she's super-gentle, and even afraid to mess up my hair (which, trust me, is NOT looking anywhere remotely glamorous these days). I still try to speak Russian to her while she is in her "mama-mode." Sadly, she doesn't understand a lot of it anymore, though she'll say a few words or phrases after I say them myself. She never has learned the English word for pacifier, so she still calls it a "soska" (nipple). Speaking of, I've been trying to grow out 'Leksa's bangs, so I've been giving her a Pebbles Flintstone pigtail on the top of her head. The Russian word for it is a "choopchik" which I think is ADORABLE, so I'm scared to death she'll learn the word "ponytail" or something, and quit calling it the right word.

The stress of having Mama down has gotten to each of the kids at one point or another this week. John has been freaked out about the kids getting rowdy around me and hurting my tummy. A few times, my instinctive jerk backwards or one of us saying "get back" has sent each one of the kids to tears. Adam didn't like the nurse playing with my IV in my hand, and almost started crying watching. (He doesn't like needles anyway though). They've been really good, though slightly clingy. At one point Adam needed to give me three hugs in less than two minutes, which while is nice and mushy, it HURT. This whole ordeal has really brought out his mushy side, and he sits holding my hand, kisses it, my cheek, etc. as often as possible. He has NOT liked seeing me down at ALL. I really feel like he's been reliving some past insecurities this week with me being down and out. He's talked about how happy he is that I'm his mama, and how he's glad he lives with us, etc. (Of course, I didn't eat that up at all...) I really think that this will be a giant nudge that he has needed toward feeling more securely bonded to us.

On Tuesday when I came home from the hospital, we showed the kids my incision so they could understand why they needed to be so gentle with me. I'm sure that has helped a lot, and we haven't had any serious mishaps. I'm curious to see my incision myself. I can't bring myself to really look yet. They said they stitched me up from the inside, and then just taped me together. Sounds nasty to me. I'm a complete baby when it comes to this kind of a thing, so it's unfortunate that I've got such a long incision. I'll be leaving that tape on 'til 2010. Ew.

I'm really glad that my old English profs don't read my blogs. I seldom end with any kind of a summary. I just get tired and quit writing. Sorry if that grates any of you literary types. I'll just call it a cliff-hanger. Maybe that will keep you all checking in! ;O)

(Here's a picture of the strawberry pie I kept for all of us at home... So nice to finally have little smiling faces looking back at me over the table full of strawberries! If they only KNEW what we went through to bring these guys home!!!) Strawberry Pie Kids

Ectopic

This has been a big weekend. On Saturday we had a "Ladies Spring Luncheon" (it was a mother-daughter banquet if I ever saw one!), and I got to bring a strawberry pie. This was the first strawberry pie I've made since our fundraising days. Nice that it came to a full circle on a mother-daughter banquet day.

But that was as good as the weekend got. Sunday I was in the ER in excruciating pain. I had another ectopic pregnancy. I'd known about the pregnancy for a few weeks, but knew there was something wrong since my symptoms disappeared so quickly. My hcg numbers looked good, however, and had us on a rollercoaster of emotions for several days. Finally on Friday, an ultrasound showed nothing in the uterus. Since I wasn't cramping or anything, the doctor (kind soul as he is), sent me home saying "maybe my dates were wrong" and maybe something would show up on ultrasound on Monday. My hcg numbers were high enough, however, that there should have been someone waving at us within two seconds on the screen.

Anyway, I had surgery on Sunday afternoon, and because of the location that the embryo had implanted, they had to completely open me up. Uff. Long recovery ahead. I'm incredibly sore. Just came home from the hospital Tuesday.

There is definitely an enormous realm of emotions that go along with getting a positive hpt test after having adopted three kids. "Oh no! People are going to be SOOOOOO annoying about having to tell us that the best way to get pregnant is to adopt," etc. Took alllll the joy out of it, lickedy-split. In fact, one of the first things John said was, "Are we TRYING to prove everyone right?" There was also the worry that our kids hadn't been home long enough with us to "do that to them," etc. Of course there is also a secret hope that it actually would work out this time, but thankfully, within within just a couple days, I knew there was trouble in paradise, whether my hcg said so yet or not. I just wish it wouldn't have had to require such a major surgery. I'm much too busy to be down so long!!!

It was cool how many people at the hospital had a connection somehow to adoption. The ob/gyn on-call had adopted two kids himself, a nurse in the ER is half-Ukrainian and knew someone who adopted three kids from Ukraine also. Another ER nurse is thinking of adopting (Kelli, I still haven't heard from you! EMAIL ME!) You know me; always the poster child for promoting Ukie adoptions! Even in between morphine shots (and believe me, I had PLENTY of them!), I still found people to gab to about my three sweetie pies. Sure takes the sting out of a loss when there are kids at home ready to climb back up into your lap. There is just plain no comparing the pain. Sure, this stunk, but ya know what? It stunk about five gazillion times worse when we had been trying to conceive, couldn't even say the word adopt without crying, and then lost the babies anyway. THAT stunk. This was no picnic, but it wasn't the end of the world either. It's amazing how the same circumstance can produce two completely different reactions. So glad to be in this boat instead of "that" one. Never ever ever want to go back to the trying to conceive rat-race again. I seriously don't know how people can stay in that game as long as some of them do. More power to them - I'll stick with my kiddos that are already alive, well, and needing a mama.

Gotta get back to bed. I'm still pretty doped up from all the pain-relievers I've had these last few days.

Eight Months Home

Seems like just yesterday we climbed off the plane in Mpls with our crew. I know I say that with a lot of my "X Month Home" updates, but seriously, time has flown. On the other hand, haven't the kids always been here? Can't imagine what it was like before they came home!

Adam has had two steps forward and one step back with school stuff. He hit a plateau with his reading, and it was getting to be too stressful for him to go further for right now, so I have backed him up a bit, and instead of finishing his reading curriculum at the end of May, he'll be finishing it in July instead. Our relationship is too important, and too delicate at this point to push him harder than he feels comfortable. He's been the hardest to bond with of the three. He likes to push buttons, and he will hone in on them and press them alllll day long if we let him. He truly is still trying to see if we'll still love him "if..." He needs the most hugs, most praise, etc. of the three right now. He's also been the one we've had to watch most closely, as he can be really sneaky. I'm so thankful we homeschooled him this year. He really has needed this time to learn to fully trust us. (Which he hasn't fully learned yet.) And I know he probably wouldn't have gravitated toward the right kind of kids because of his emotional age not matching his chronological age.

We've set up an extra computer for the kids to play games. We also have some Nintendo-like game thingie set up for them on the tv. Thankfully, they don't "need" to be on them all the time like lots of kids, but they do enjoy the games, and hopefully it will help Adam's hand-coordination a bit by pressing those buttons. The nice weather has drawn their attention outside to where there might be some neighbor kids to play with instead. That's an extra relief for us because I think Adam would be the most likely to sit and veg for hours. (We wouldn't let that happen anyway, but it is nice we aren't having to deal with daily controversies over it.) They are also still as book-wormish as ever, even with the nice weather outside. We're reading "Mary Poppins" right now. (Did you know that in the book there are FOUR kids? Jane, Michael, John and Barbara.) I've wanted to break into song a few times so far (What's Mary Poppins without "Supercalafragilisticexpyaladocious?") Before that, we read "The Borrowers" which has been the toughest read so far. We even had to renew that one in order to finish it.

Liana has blossomed this month. She is now using words like "wonderful," "serious," "splendid," "curious," etc. She's also made a little progress in her need-to-control. She definitely has a leader-type personality, but she seems more willing to trust us when we tell her to do something "our way." She's going to be an awesome anything-she-wants-to-be-when-she-grows-up, because she can run anything. She decided she knew how to change her cousin's diaper a few weeks ago, and pretty much went for it. (With Grandma's help and supervision.) Fearless.

Speaking of fearless! She pulled her tooth out the other night! It wasn't "just hanging there" either. There was blood and everything. She had to yank. Thankfully, I got it on video... It's hard to believe she just plain yanked it without flinching. Don't most little girls whine and complain and not let anyone touch their loose teeth for fear it might hurt them? Not Liana. She yanked the thing out on cue. Very excited girl!

Aleksa is also making progress. Several times in the past week while her brother and sister were struggling to remember what sounds certain letters said, I'll on a whim say, "Aleksa, what does the letter 'N' say?" And then she'll tell us, and then her sibling can read whatever word. She's still charming as ever with the free world, but now it is in the form of smiles only. (Most of the time anyway!) She has grown a ton, and is proud as punch about that. She is also nearly over her fear of being upside down, but we've also found that it matters "who" has her. She'll let me flip her upside down all I want, but she's still occasionally freaked out when John tries it. Not as much though. Still can't get her to copy her name on paper, but she will write different letters. She also has been asking for paper and pencil when she watches her "letter" shows on tv/dvd. She takes notes! One day she showed me a page full of "P's" after one of her shows. She is also good at sorting, loves to find things that are the "same" and loves to do her pattern-block puzzles. But, before she can do her puzzle, she likes to dump all the blocks out, and sort them by color/shape. Then, she goes to work. She likes things orderly. Too bad that doesn't carry over to her picking up her room. Only to specific projects. Oh well!

Nail-biting

We've been telling Aleksa to stop biting her nails, and that big girls don't do that, etc. She has been doing great, and has nice white almost-needing-to-be-clipped fingernails now. She was showing them off to the lady sitting ahead of us at church today. She said, "See my nails? I not bite them. I'm getting married soon." Apparently she thought that us telling her that big girls don't bite them, that she'd be an instant grown-up if she quit. She was pretty disappointed when I explained that she had to wait a loooooong time before she moves away and gets married. I didn't even think to ask her who the lucky groom was. Papa needs to know who to look out for...

Sunny Days

This week has been the sunniest and warmest that we've had yet this year. The kids have been playing outside every spare second. It has been amazing how much friendlier the neighborhood has gotten once we had kids. We've had neighbors come out and introduce themselves, comment on our kids, etc. One lady, who our kids had already told about their being from Ukraine, came out and oohed and aaahed to John about how neat it was for us to have adopted, etc. Another man told John that our kids were "very polite." (OUR KIDS?) (Obviously they've never seen them eat their supper!)

Another neighbor has a trampouline in his yard, and a bunch of the neighbor kids were out bouncing yesterday. Ours were right in the thick of things too, and when they came home, they told us how fun the neighbor's "jump-o-line" was. I like that word. All three of them said it like that. Too funny.

Adam and Liana are already getting nice tans. I'm so jealous of their coloring. I go from pasty to burned-to-a-crisp, but nothing in between. Aleksa tans nicely too, but she's been more of a homebody than the other two. She likes hanging out with Mama. *Grin*

We've also gotten out their bikes! Adam is pretty scared of his, and will go practice on it only when we force him to. He prefers his safe-on-the-ground big wheel, which he is about three feet too tall for. (Ok, not quite, but he's getting there!)

Liana is doing the best of the three. She's got the least fear (no surprise here!) So, she'll take more chances and go the furthest without the panic. She'll be petalling around here in no time flat.

Aleksa is a bit little for her bike yet. She doesn't quite "get it." She's perfectly content watching her brother and sister while she runs along beside or behind. That's Leks. Content is a good description of her. She's happy with anything that comes to her. I sure wish I were more like that!

Infertility

I just found this on one of my old online stomping grounds. This is an old one, but I thought I'd share it with y'all in case you ever meet a real-live infertile person (*gasp!*) and want to know what we have (or have had) to hear from well-meaning friends and family. (And to any of you out there reading our blog who still occassionally feel the old sting of not being able to get pregnant, I send you giant hugs.)


Paraplegic instead of Infertile...

So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile???

As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!

You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!

My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.

I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.

Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.

So... when are *you* going to start walking?

Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk - everywhere I go!

But don't you *want* to walk?

You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.

You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.

I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.

I hope you don't try those anti-paralyzation drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.

Look at those people hiking... doesn't that make you want to hike?

Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.

Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.

I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.

I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.

You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.

Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.

If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!

You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.

Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!

Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!

When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.

And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running...