This was sure a fast month. Scary. I've been hit hard with the "Seize the Day" bug. I've been sewing up foo-foo little girl (matching!) dresses for the girls. It is hitting me hard that my days are terribly numbered in how long I can get away with this, so I'm going for it. And, I'm learning to sew in the process, which makes me feel good that I'm not getting too old to try new tricks. Been having lots of late nights at the kitchen table sewing up a storm.
Aleksa has made enormous progress this month, and it really seems as though a switch has turned on for her and she's learning things that went waaaaay over her head just a few months ago. After months of working on her colors, she woke up one morning recently and just "knew" them. I about fell over. It sounds weird, but I really stressed over those dumb colors for a long time. Our daily games of "find me something in the room that is blue" has finally paid off. She's still a little hesitant, and knows them better when I say the color name instead of making her say it, but finally the fog is lifting and I'm greatly relieved. I'm going to jump up and down the day she writes her name for me. You'll all hear about it, I'm sure.
It crossed my mind a few days ago that Aleksa was the one I worried most about in the "attachment" department when we first came home. We are, and have been for a while now "hers." She misses us terribly if one or the other of us is gone, and she is the one to give the first welcome home kisses, first wake-up-in-the-morning kisses and hugs, and snuggles on our laps with a book or just for a cuddle any chance she can get. She's emotionally very settled and secure, and that really feels good to say as worried as I started off to be with her.
Liana is doing great too. Liana is sure my right-hand man (ok, girl). She is taking on my mannerisms, expressions, and pretends she's an adult in the way she talks. It quite often cracks me up. If I smile at her as if I'm about to laugh at her, she'll smile too, knowing I'm "on to her." Hard to explain.
Our strawberry patch is getting ripe, and Liana has been very vigilant about shooing the critters out of the garden. The other day a Robin landed in it, and Liana bolted full-speed screaming her head off to scare it away. I had to smile remembering two years ago when John was so upset with the gopher in our garden. Nice to see that full circle. We are soooooooo blessed!
Then Adam! Still has a hollow leg and is growing, growing, growing. Which I'm bummed about in more way than one. Size is a bummerful thing about adopting older kids. The girls are "lap-size" and find themselves there easily and often. Adam, however, just doesn't fit my lap, and feels awkward if I make him sit there anyway. It is soooooo critical that he gets plenty of physical lovin' up for our bonding sake, and yet, it is often difficult. I've been trying to spend more time tucking him in at bedtiime. It has become "our" time to chat. All three kids feel most free to tell us what's on their minds at bedtime, which I'm sure is natural, but with Adam it is critical. I can stroke his hair and cheek, and let him chat away. He rarely talks about Ukraine with us during the day, but at night, he'll open up and tell me he misses different people in Ukraine, and wishes he could see them, and wonders how they are, etc.
His speech is still a struggle, however, and frankly, I'm starting to worry. He pauses with an "uh" before lots of his words, and his word-order is still shaky. Still says "mine" and "yours" for "my" and "your," and he rarely uses the word "do" correctly, and prepositions are a killer. We are constantly correcting him or saying, "Can you say that right?" He does great with his reading/writing though. I've been wanting to make an appointment to get his ears checked, but I haven't gotten around to it. (Busy few weeks... John has been layed off, so there has really been a monkey-wrench in our schedule.)
We're homeschooling through the summer. The kids don't know anything about "summer vacation" so we're just going right through with the 3R's. Keeps the routine going a bit, and hopefully it will pay-off with some catching up with Adam. I was shocked the other day when Adam told me that math was his favorite subject right now. Hopefully it will hold - but it is about to get hard again with some new concepts, so I'm holding my breath that he doesn't freeze up and get freaked out about it again as he has in the past.
Ten months. Feels like we should almost know what we're doing by now, but every day is still very much an adventure around here!
Quieting down the cobwebs...
About Me
- Shelly
- Mom to three fabulous heart-grown kiddos; Adam, Liana and Aleksandra (Aleksa or Leks for short), adopted 8/04 from Odessa, Ukraine, and home-grown blessings Abrielle born 11/07, Brynn born 1/10, and newest surprise due 8/11... Email address (in code so spammers don't fill my mailbox) = "Shelly (funny symbol here) JohnAndShelly (dot) net"
4 comments:
Weird what you said about Adam. I was just thinking that he was making good progress with the language. He has just begun adopting "is" into his sentences. In fact, just today, I asked him to say, "She was doing xxxx". Instead, he said, "I is doing xxxx". While, that isn't technically correct, it means that he is parsing the English and trying to recreate it, rather than simply parroting the words back. In my mind, that is actually better! Because, when he gets it right, it means that it travelled all the way through his language pathways, rather than the surface level audio recorder. :)
Congratulations on your family's ten months together. How well your children have blossomed is a true testimony to your great parenting! Jo from the ttc adoption board
Hi Shelly - I was just thinking about when we had our 20 year old interpreter come to the states about 10 years ago. He spoke fairly good English and he tested very high on the college TOFL test (Measuring English skills of foreigners) but as you mentioned specifics that Adam is doing, it reminded me of our interpreter! He would slip and say the exact same things and he had been speaking English for over 6 years and interpreting for over 3. I'm sure Adam will get it - it's just that he had more Ukrainian IN him for a longer amount of time! Counting the days! Lois
Hi Shelly,
I've posted before as a friend from NJ (still am!). Well, I am a big beliver in mother's intuition and my guess is that you are correct, there is more going on with Adam's language acquisition than just the regular adjustment type of stuff. My opinion would be to have an auditory processing exam done. I can sense your deep love for the children and especially your desire to do right by Adam. I'm a mother of a boy, as well, and sometimes I feel like I am raising another species - boys can be so different. But I have a teenage boy now and I am here to tell you with 100% confidence that few things, if any, match the joy and blessing of having a son. Keep pouring into him. You won't regret a moment of it. There are more "natural" opportunities with daughters so it feels less urgent somehow. Just my opinion.
Warmly,
A NJ friend
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