It isn't very often anymore that we hear of anything that we didn't already know about the kids' conditions at their orphanage. Yesterday, however, we found out something new.
Liana was looking into Susie's cage, and noticed that she had gone potty by where she was sleeping. She said, "Mama, we should make her eat it. That's what they made us do at the orphanage if we went potty in our beds. If we peed, then we had to lick it. If we pooped, then we had to eat it all up."
John and I stopped what we were doing and locked eyes for a long moment, unable to even comment. We did already know about the rule that no child could go potty during the night. So, not only could they not go potty in the bathroom, but there was a horrifying consequence if they had an accident. No wonder Aleksa screamed her head off the first time she wet the bed. She probably thought I was going to make her lick it. I wonder how many times she had to do so at the orphanage, but she remained silent while Liana talked.
What a mixture of emotions: relieved that our kids are out of that nightmare; brokenhearted for the children left behind; furious at the workers who enforced (or even INVENTED) such a rule; and happy to know that there are other families that we know are preparing to bring some of those children home.
Those of you who don't have your children yet, please don't get discouraged during The Wait. Please keep plugging away at your adoption journey; never give up on your kid(s). It might feel like you're walking through a few fires to do so, but Please go get them OUT OF THERE.
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6 comments:
Shelly,
As I've said to you before while this kind of thing completely sickens me, it doesn't suprise me in the least that these kids have to endure this kind of "treatment".
Yes, it does make me all that more fired up to go and get MY kids out of there.... Now, if INS would just get that motivated :)
I am happy though that Liana felt comfortable enough to share something so scary and painful with you- that shows how secure she feels now! xo Lisa S.
Shelly--
I have followed your blog since you adopted your children. You have been such an inspiration to me, even though I've never met you. My husband and I got back from Ukraine a month ago. We had intended to adopt one boy under the age of 2. We came home with TWO children, ages 6 and 8. Part of the reason we knew we could make that leap is because I have followed your journey and shared your adventure with my husband. You tell such wonderful stories of your children that I knew that this age group could be just as much fun as having a baby. I haven't been disappointed yet. We have two great kids and life is so much richer now. Just wanted to drop you a note to say thanks for this website. You are doing a good thing by letting people into your family so that they can see what a great thing adoption from Ukraine can be. Bless you and your beautiful family. I am so glad, after reading this most recent post, that your children have great chance at a better life.
Susan
Susan! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm glad to know that my "late night ramblings" (as I tend to call them) have made such an influence on your family... even if it was just a small one. You're definitely right - the "older kid" age range is a riot. The fun seriously never stops around here, and I just can't imagine having done it any other way... Enjoy your sweethearts! I'm so very happy for you... (I've even got a few tears here!)
Shelly
Shelly--
Here's our site for your late-night internet fix: http://sergei.blog-city.com/ I don't blog nearly as much as you but am not as good a storyteller as you either.
Our children were lucky enough to be in very nice orphanages and we are amazed at how well they were treated. But a nice orphanage by NO means is a substitute for a home and a family. We are thrilled we could give them that in exchange for the joy they've given us.
You are a great advocate for "older child" adoption (if you consider over 4 "older"). Keep it up! You are reaching people even if you don't know about it until after the fact.
Susan
I feel so discouraged knowing that even as I type, kids are being treated like garbage. Maybe not constantly or often, but one time of dehumanizing a kid is way too many. That precious, resiliant Liana - strong enough to say hard things. And amazing you, Shelly. Creating an environment where the former orphan feels no shame or fear. You continually impress me.
A friend in NJ
How horrible to do such things to the children! When I finally am able to hold my child, I don't know if I'll ever be able to let him/her go. Such hard lives they have had at such young ages. Thank you for continuing to boost my morale as I wait for my child. Jo from the ttc adoption board
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