How 'bout that. We moved in. Well, our address changed. Still have 900,976 boxes to unpack and put away. Wanna know what my friend Connie gave me as a housewarming present? A tin of my favorite cookies (Australian "anzac" cookies), and a little plastic GOAT!!! What a riot!
The stress of the move has been hard on all of us. Liana came down with a flu or something yesterday - fever, chills, headache all day. Abrielle has been fussy and clingy and I have no idea how I've accomplished anything at all, especially with my Chief Babysitter down.
Adam suddenly decided to pull some of his "let's test mama" tricks lately and has been driving me crazy... Like yesterday I asked him to put a framed picture on a pile of several other pictures on my china hutch. He decided he didn't want to be told what to do, and then decided to drive me nuts over it. So, he said he didn't know what a china hutch was. When I told him to figure it out, it made him mad, and then he literally went around the house "looking" for a china hutch. He stopped in the bathroom (!), to the garage, etc. Let me just say, he knows EXACTLY what a china hutch is. This is just his weapon of choice with me. He knows this kind of thing drives me Batty. So. Finally, after he'd PASSED the china hutch THREE times, (and never looked up at, mind you - he was too busy looking at the couch and rocking chair), I told him to turn around (to face the hutch) and tell me what he saw. It took him several minutes for him to decide to tell me what it was and that this was what he was supposed to find.
I must digress a bit and camp there. I have really had it good as far as "adoption issues" with my crew. They only seldom pop up anymore, and are extremely mild "incidents" (as with Adam and the hutch). I have truthfully been in a bit of a "survivor's guilt" as far as my children are concerned. I feel horrible for other families (some of whom I helped convince to adopt via this blog!), who have had serious issues with their adopted kiddos. I have further had survivor's guilt over THEN having Abrielle. On top of having Abrielle, I am scared to death for my three "originals" that my blog-readers will suddenly love the baby more than the rest of my crew and those who know me in real life might start treating them "differently." I love my baby with all my heart. But I love my Three also, and my mama bear tendencies really grieve for my older three. All of the above has made me hesitant to blog much anymore. Survivor's guilt, and trying to protect my kiddos. All of them.
Ok, end of soapbox/confession/digression.
Anyway.
Abri has a new trick that has come in handy for her during her fussy-fits... She has been saying "Mama!" Well, actually, she's been saying, "mamamamamama" and then fussin' til I come get her. Fun to hear her babble, but oh, she's become high maintenance all of a sudden!
My dad went back into the hospital Saturday night. He has been there since, but has been getting better little by little and we are hopeful that he'll be out and ready for his big Birthday Bash on the 28th. I was hoping to head down this week, but now with Liana sick, I better make sure we're bug-free first.
Quieting down the cobwebs...
About Me
- Shelly
- Mom to three fabulous heart-grown kiddos; Adam, Liana and Aleksandra (Aleksa or Leks for short), adopted 8/04 from Odessa, Ukraine, and home-grown blessings Abrielle born 11/07, Brynn born 1/10, and newest surprise due 8/11... Email address (in code so spammers don't fill my mailbox) = "Shelly (funny symbol here) JohnAndShelly (dot) net"
5 comments:
Shelly,
How sad that some people don't understand a "mama's love" is all encompassing, no matter how you become a mama. You are living proof of this. When people tell me, "I just don't think I could adopt a child" I think "then it's really a good thing you DIDN'T." I'm sorry you've had to deal with attitudes that assume, pass judgment or make preferences regarding your beautiful children. Please try not to feel guilty over your blessings. We all have a road to travel. It's how we handle the bumps in the road that makes us who we are. You're really good at turning your bumps into blessings. Keep blogging - although I don't comment very often, I check your blog every day.
Love,
Catherine Hendrickson
Glad to hear your move has been accomplished! Moving IS very stressful so I can imagine it could result in a digression in behaviors as well as physical illness. (((hugs))) Hope it won't be long til everyone gets settled in and back to "normal." I also hope that your dad is able to be out of the hospital in time for his bday bash!! As for people showing preference for Abrie - well do you think that could be primarily just because she's a baby? I would think that even if your first three were your biological children (meaning all 4 were bio) that she'd be getting FAR more attention at the moment from others than they would or if she were also adopted. It seems a baby is like a big MAGNET that draws people's focus and maybe it's not really about adoption vs. bio??? but just that she's a cute little baby??? Well I think it's awesome that you are being so sensitive to the feelings of your older three.
Yes, Ruth, I'm sure that you're right and the attention is because she's a baby and it's fun to gush over babies. I know I do! I just feel bad for my other three - who I'm skeered are feeling like chopped liver of sorts.
I'm a mom. It's my job to look out for all of 'em, know what I mean? ;o)
I do understand where you are coming from, Shelly. I too have been trying to be very careful not to let it seem like the baby is "more" than Adam, Liana, or Aleksa. They all are a huge part of my heart. There is no way in this world that I could love them anymore if they were bio. That means nothing to me - they are "ours"!!! Yes, it is normal for a baby to get more attention, but the security needs to be there for 3 others that not so long ago we were concerned that attachment woud not be a problem. They are "ours" clear through - all 4 of them. I don't blame you one bit for being careful for all of them. I am thankful for the mothering and fathering that you and John do. You are great parents!
I know you are being pulled in many different directions right now. Just take a moment at a time and God will hold on to you and see you through. Remember too, you did only move in less than week ago. No one expects you to be all settled in so quickly, especially with a family to be caring for at the same time, especially with a baby.
Wishing I could be there to help you.
Mom
Shelly,
I think your little baby is beautiful and she is such a blessing to your family.....and the older children are just as beautiful and just as much of a blessing.
We adopted 3 just as you did and it really helps me to read of the trials and tribulations AND how well things are going now....as we are in major trials and tribulations with the 3 we adopted. Your blog posts are such an inspiration to me. Please dont stop!!!
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