John took Liana and Adam on separate trips to Walmart and the grocery store. They each needed new tennies and John decided they all needed belts. And of course, groceries are going to be a constant "problem" at the Fisher residence for the next 15 years! :O)
The kids did reallllllly well and loved having John all to themselves for a bit. I was relieved to hear the good report. Neither of us are brave enough to take all three out at once yet. Gonna have to make some trial runs this week though, since I get to fly solo then with John back to work.
It felt weird skipping church yesterday, but whaddaya do? It just seemed cruel to take them and then expect them to behave. We'll try it next Sunday at least to take them to Jr. Church, but this week was just too soon. They would have been bouncing off the walls taking watches off of people, making people show them the insides of their mouths, looking up dresses and the like. Not Cool.
Aleksa is still not eating well. At supper tonight, she wouldn't eat ANYTHING, but I happened to look over at her mid-way through the meal to see her taking the seeds out of her green beans and eating them. ?????.
Liana is now leaving food on her plate. Seems weird that I'm upset about one not eating, and thrilled about another not eating. At one point today Liana was pouting about something or other, and when we announced snack time, she went to her room and declared she wasn't going to eat. Okay! So the rest of the kids got their fruit popsicles without her. Anyway, while we weren't thrilled with the attitude, it did show that we're making some good progress with her trusting us to give her food. It struck us that this was the same little girl that would eat anything coming out of the ground back at the orphanage... tree sap, foliage, whatever - and you'd have to fight her to get it from her. She's come a long way in a very short time. Anyway, none of the kids begged for snacks either. We just gave them when it was time for them, and none of them howled about food in between.
Adam is still licking his plate clean at mealtime and begging his sisters for their food, but like I said though, between meals he was fine.
Both Liana and Aleksa had some tantrums today. It took a while, but they were sorry afterwards, and they were both the best snugglers and "Mama-kissers" in the world thereafter. They crave someone drawing a line in the sand and saying "no." It's like their world seems safer when someone is there to show them what their boundaries are. Whatever it was, they were completely different kids afterwards.
Aleksa started to glaze over once today. I had a feeling the language thing was getting to her. So, I plopped her on my lap at the computer and looked up www.ukrainianpower.com where they have some clips from some childrens' Ukrainian language videos. She snuggled in, watched for a while (perfectly still), and then nearly fell asleep. Poor kid. I learned two of the songs one the video clips before we left for Ukraine that I've been singing around the house for the kids. It was fun when Liana and Aleksa started to sing them with me, and asked me to sing them over and over. (I must not have butchered them too bad!) ;O) Anyway, I think it was a welcome "break" for them to be hearing something familiar in more than just two or three words at a time from us. Though John and I are getting pretty good at knowing what they are saying, we still can't express ourselves to them in Russian in any lengthy sentences. It's always easier to understand a language than it is to speak it. Thankfully the kids are really understanding a lot, but we'll all be happy when we're a one-language family.
Anyway, thanks everyone so much for all the support in your comments on the blog and also private emails. If you vets to adoption have any more advice, please post it on the blog so others can benefit too... And maybe your stories can help our families/friends understand better what we're going through, and understand why we are doing things the way we are... (taking toys/clothes away, etc.) I'm sure we sound nasty and cruel to some. (But frankly, we think it is nasty and cruel to NOT limit their "input" right now. We're just helping them to be able to cope with their brand new world).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You guys sound like you are doing an awesome job. God has given you three challenges to love, and He will be sure it is not too much for you. Your stories remind me so much of what we went through with Ivan. Here are some thoughts:
In the grocery stores out here there is Borcht in a jar. Maybe you could get some to give to the kids as a familiar treat. My dad bought some for Ivan about 6 months after he was home. It was obvious that it was a familiar well-loved taste for him.
There were some things that Ivan just wouldn't eat right at first. I think it may have been a texture issue. (One of them was kiwi - he didn't like the little seeds.) Now he eats pretty much everything.
It could just be Ivan's people loving personality, but we STILL have to remind Ivan not to climb or hang on people who come to visit us. He gets soooo excited to have someone new to give him attention. Now Ivan has learned pretty well that he needs to calm himself and give people their space, but we still occasionally have to send him to his room for some quiet settle-down time. The door must be closed, though or it doesn't work. We allow him to play while he is in there and set the timer so it doesn't seem to be an endless thing.
We just try to remember that Ivan was not in an environment to learn the social skills that the children around him have been observing since birth. We have to point out the behaviors we don't want him to exhibit so that it "clicks" in his head. (Don't stare at strangers.) It helps a lot for him to know why as well. (Makes people uncomfortable.) Then he has to have an alternative. (Just glance at strangers, then try to look at something else. If they are really interesting, then you can glance again! :-)
Kacie was very instrumental in Ivan learning the proper behaviors and the English language. Maybe some well-supervised playtime with cousins or good friends from church would help????
Your mom is right - follow your instincts - you know what is best for your kids. If you haven't yet, you might pick up a copy of Creative Correction. It gives lots of variety of ideas for correcting behavior and reaching the hearts of our children.
Still praying and glad you are home!!!
Julie Phipps
Hey Guys!
Just wanted to check in on you guys. Welcome home!!!!!! Welcome to the insanity of parenting!!! Just a few comments:
Up until VERY recently, all toys in our house "lived" in the playroom. We didn't let Max and Nicholaus keep the toys in their rooms. It was just too much stimulation. Oh, and if you aren't doing this, you may want to have the kids have "rest time" during the day. We did this the entire summer that the boys were first home. They needed the time and so DID I!!!!! They didn't have to sleep (but they usually did), but it was just some down time for all of us. Our boys had them at the orphanage (for 2.5 hours!!!!), so a one hour "rest" was good for them!
We also didn't go out much at all for the first few weeks home. We just wanted them to get used to our family and our home. Of course it helped that Max got chicken pox......
Food: So that I didn't have to cook a gazillion things for them to "try", we took them to Golden Corral buffet restaurant after a couple weeks home. This way they could try lots of new things and if they didn't like them, I hadn't cooked forever. Also, once things settle down some (and my friend, they WILL settle down), I do the Once a Month Cooking, where I cook and freeze lots of meals so all I have to do is pop them in the oven. Hannah D also does this and I took my cues from her. It is truly a HUGE time saver. Money, too.
Re: School. You are Adam's best advocate in this. If you don't think he is ready, follow that instinct. Our boys were ready and we felt good about it, so we did send them. But YOU and JOHN know what is best for them. Once he is feeling a little more at ease, you may want to try some transition time, like half days, etc. This will help the transition.
And I do encourage you to do the Older Kids list. There are a couple of folks on there that homeschool and a couple teachers, too. It has been and continues to be a lifesaver for us! Keep up the good work! Love the updates!!!!
Penney
Mommy to Max (7) and Nicholaus (8)
Home 16 months today!
Post a Comment