Super sorry to all of you faithful readers who check in on us every day, but this blog has stressed me out. Aside from trying to balance my new life as a VERY busy mom of three kids who have a lot to say in a language I don't speak, this blog has turned from my Happy Place into a dreaded duty. Maybe after a few more weeks I can handle it, but for now, I feel a little bit like a fish in a fishbowl. Not fun being under a microscope, and I need my life back for a while. Perhaps I'm just in a funk because today is the 2-year anniversary of my mother's death and I'm just overly emotional right now.
Regardless, I have to also add that one of the major reasons for my "taking a break" is that there is also waaaay too much potential here to hurt peoples' feelings. I hate having already done so, and I am sincerely sorry about it and hope that I will eventually be forgiven. For those of you who have already visited us, please understand that it was US we were upset with, NOT our visitors. Nobody overstepped any boundaries, because WE HADN'T PUT THE BOUNDARIES THERE YET. We didn't WANT to ask anyone to limit their physical affection with our kids. We want everyone to love them up, and for the kids to love them too. We were upset with ourselves for not having prepared our family/friends with the rules and the reasoning and the potential for having to enforce this "rule" well before our trip. Our first weeks home are the hardest, and this has only made things that much harder having to deal with outside stresses now too. Good Job Shelly and John.
I feel awful leaving those of you who are GOING to adopt high and dry, as I know how much reading post-adoption websites would have helped prepare us, but this is too much for me right now. Hope you understand!
ttfn,
Shelly
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5 comments:
Shelly,
You do what you feel like you need to do right now. Yes, you do have your hands full and your children need all of you and you don't need to get sick because of the stress. Your's as well as the children's world has been totally turned upside down these past few weeks, and it's going to take awhile to get things going in the right direction and I think you and John are doing a great job with all the obsticles you are trying to hurdle. You have earned a Gold medal in all the event's you have participated in so far, and you will continue to be winners in my book.
I will be praying for you today especially Because I know that you miss your Mom so very much and would have loved to have her be a part of this-There are times when Daughters need only their Mom's, and no one else will do (been there-done that).
I for one have really enjoyed reading all your blogs, but you must stay healthy for your children and family-and that is #1 priority for you right now. I will keep checking from time to time and will enjoy reading again when you feel upto blogging.
Just remember that God is in control and you can go to him anytime and he will be there to wipe your tears from your cheeks.
Stay healthy-
Fausta
Thank you Shelly and John for so selflessly posting your wonderful adoption experience on your site! I am a PAP and am so thankful to you. I pray for your continued success; God has made you a family and He will make it all work out. I do not feel like you are leaving anyone high and dry; you have given so much already and now you need to save every ounce of energy for your beautiful family. God bless you a BUNCH!
Thanks so much for sharing all that you did with countless people that you don't even know. Your story is a true inspiration! If we end adopting our family, you have made me think about about not just adopting an infant (which was my only choice previously)...you have shown how much all of the children need a family & that it is possible to create the loving family.
You should really consider continuing the blog privately for now & publishing later. It is such a wonderful story, reading about the progression, the children adapting to their new home, bonding, becoming a family...it would be such a help for anyone that is adopting.
Thanks again for all that you have shared. Good luck!
Alana, TTC board.
Hey Shelly!
Don't know if/when you'll read this, but I just wanted to say hi... You might remember me from the shadowy corners of your memory--this is Kristie who worked at Linda's Bakery with Connie and Cara a few years back! Hi! :) Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed reading about your adoption process and I wish your family the best. Your story is a mighty witness to how the Lord grants us the desires of our hearts! (By the way, I saw my own dream come true last year when I got to live in New Zealand for 10 months--God is so good to His Children!)
I'm endeavoring to remember to pray for you guys regularly, as realistically, I'm sure you'll need it! I just wanted to encourage you about feeling upset that you might've hurt other people's feelings too...I always feel rotten in those sort of circumstances myself, but God seems to be teaching me (over and over and over since it's such a hard lesson to learn!) that sometimes in life it's inevitable that we'll step on people's toes. I think often it can grow us in boldness, and in remembering we live for an audience of one (the Lord). You know the saying--you can't please all the people all the time.
Condolences on dealing with the anniversary of your mom's death too. A couple of years ago I lost two people very dear to me as well, so I know what those anniversaries feel like.
God's best to you, dear sister!
--Kristie
Shelly
Thank you for your openess online. We will be traveling to Ukraine and it has been so wonderful to read your blogging. Every night I would tell my dh about your journal.
I understand however your need to concentrate on being a mom. It is overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings.
I feel badly that your family/friends feelings were hurt. But right now you need to focus on being with your kids, and doing what you feel is best for them. That is what a mom does, no matter how hard it is on everyone else.
I know from your journal that you seek God first in all you do. Thanks for being an example of a godly woman in a very difficult situation.
Also my sympathies are with you during this time.
I am sorry you lost your mother. I am sure that makes you more aware of your own children's initial loss and allows you to love them even deeper. (hope that makes sense!)
Again, Thanks again for sharing.
God Bless your beautiful family!
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