Seven Months Home. Can't believe it. Tomorrow is the day, but since I can't guarantee that I'll have the energy tomorrow to blog, but I do tonight, I figure I'd better jump on the opportunity.
This month has seen some major changes in everyone. Some good, some bad.
Adam has been testing us more definitely than he has in a long time. Not sure if it's the hormones, or what. They say that for every year a child is old, it takes that many months to fully bond. I've found that definitely true with Aleksa, not really true for Liana (she bonded the fastest, though of course that bond is still strengthening). With Adam, I really think it will be true. He's ten and we haven't been home 10 months yet. There are lots of things that he needs to learn to trust us with, and while he's doing Beautifully compared to some of the other horror stories I've heard about, I do know he has a way to go yet too. The more we've gotten to know Adam and the more we've learned about his Previous Life, the more amazed we are that our kids have pulled through smelling as rose-like as they do.
Adam is emotionally about age 7, I'd say. Maybe even 6. He gravitates toward the way younger kids, and plays like a little kid. He doesn't mind playing with Aleksa's tricycle instead of his scooter. He comes off rather annoying to the older kids... and that's partly because he simply has no idea how to play like older "nice" kids who have been here all their lives. If he does play with older kids his age, he gravitates toward the wilder ones. Instead of going up to another child and asking them to play, he'll grab them, yank their arms up and down and getting in their face thinking he's "playing." Just tonight we had a "family meeting" to teach the kids how to ask other children to play with them. Hopefully they caught the lesson... I really fear that Adam is going to shoot himself in the foot with his playing techniques. He has lots to learn and a giant span to cross emotionally.
Physically, however, he continues to shoot up. Last Sunday, his Jr. Church teacher told me after church that Adam proudly came up to her and said, "Mrs. ---, look! Pimples!" And then he also pointed to armpits. Oy.
He has gained over 15 pounds since he came home from Ukraine, and I have no idea how many inches. At the end of August last year he was 60 lbs. He is now 75. We "started feeding" the kids when we took custody of them on August 12, and he ate nonstop for those two weeks, so who knows how much weight he gained from then until the end of August when we finally weighed him in at 60 lbs.
Adam's English is progressing slowly but surely. His Russian is gone, but he will remember if we ask him specifics. Of course none of them have been speaking Russian to eachother for months and months now. Adam's sentences are still not complete, but they are filling in more all the time. He seems to struggle less and less when we make him repeat the correct way of saying what he's trying to articulate. There is nothing wrong with his comprehension, however, and can define some pretty obscure words. In Sunday School, his teacher told me that he could tell her what the word "famine" meant, for example. All our reading is starting to reap some benefits. I thank God every day that our kids love to be read to as much as they do. Adam is reading more and more all the time, and he is really good at figuring out how to write the words he hears. The stories in his readers are getting longer and longer all the time. We've been working "overtime" with Language class with him - I probably have him do an hour and half or two hours of it scattered throughout the day (that includes penmanship too though). He doesn't mind. He's very anxious to be able to pick up any old book and be able to read it without waiting for someone to read it to him. John and I also think that him being able to read has helped his speech since he can see what he's supposed to be saying. We've seen that happen at least a few different times that his articulation of a word changed for the better once he saw how it was spelled.
Liana's English continues to strengthen and her comprehension and articulation are really great. She is this month starting to ask lots more questions about what different words/expressions mean instead of letting them go over her head. She doesn't want to miss ANYTHING now. Like the other day I mentioned that Papa was going to swing by the library after work, and her eyes got big and she said, "HOW?" Tonight she asked why we didn't get any gas for the car, and her string of "why?" questions in the end had John explaining that gas makes tiny explosions and that's what makes the car go. We finally had to make her quit asking. Liana is SMART, and extra curious about everything. She's also a jabberbox, and there is rarely a quiet moment when she's around. That's good; I'm naturally more quiet, so I appreciate the good conversationalist to keep the topics coming.
She continues to seek to control everyone around her. Tonight when we were getting ready for church, she started screaming for me at the top of her lungs, and even sent Aleksa looking for me. I was getting dressed, so I couldn't just "go." Finally, I was ready enough to go find out the problem, and meanwhile, she had gotten so fed up, that she boldly waltzed into the livingroom NAKED and mad at me for not coming to her when she obviously made it clear that I was needed. Evidently she was looking for something to wear(!) When she got in trouble for her streaking, she made ME into the bad guy for not coming when I was told. Obviously we have a long way to go with her...
Great Grandma Fisher has been her two days this week, and Liana, who will speak her mind to a fault, asked questions like, "Why do you have whiskers, Grandma?" and "Why do you have a hole in your dress?" and "Why does your breath stink?" and my ultimate mortification came when Liana asked me, "Mama, why isn't Grandma dead yet?" LIANA VALENTINA!!!!!!!!!!
That old nursery rhyme that goes, "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was really really good. And when she was bad, she was horrid," fits her pretty well right now. Big contrasts, but truthfully, they are mostly on the good side. It's just that the "bad" stories are more memorable. She really has come a long way though, and she actually is turning into a really nice kid. Thankfully her faults are obvious though. That makes them easier to deal with sometimes.
Aleksa has made HUGE changes this month. She asks to be flipped upside down now when she's playing with John. (MAJOR progress). She was sooo freaked out when we first brought her home. Everything scared her. She's pretty brave these days.
Also, she knows almost all of her letter sounds now! I haven't been able to coax any more letters than just an "A" out of her with her writing, but even that is major progress for her. It seems like a fog has lifted from her this month, and she has been revving up to really take off. I was soooo worried about her last month, but it really looks like a lot of my fear was unfounded. Maybe now that her language is more solidified, and she is more firmly bonded with us she is allowing herself to open up her mind a bit more. She is even sitting with Adam and Liana and I as we read our chapter books now. We're reading
Stuart Little this week and two days in a row she was the one that begged for another chapter after I thought we were done. She's come a long way, baby! She's still a really good little girl, and very seldom gets into any kind of trouble. The most "naughty" thing she's done lately is eat Susie the Hamster's food. Gross, but not naughty.
Pretty much, we have three great kids. They're still learning the ropes of what it's like to live outside of an orphanage, and to live under the umbrella of a family structure, but they've come so far! They're three really wonderful kids. I can't imagine life without these guys.
