Letter from Zhanna

It's been a big last few weeks around here. I had my birthday on July 28, an Liana's was yesterday. Leksa's is Friday. Plus, we have had VBS at our church all week this week (except Friday). I'm exhausted already! lol!

This morning tapped me emotionally though... We got an email from the lady who did our birthfamily search this winter. She was sending me a letter from the childrens' birthmother. Talk about emotional. I was really glad she wrote, as she had been really caught off-guard by our PI before, and didn't have a whole lot to say this winter. She had written the children a very short note, and you could see from her writing that she was pretty nervous. This time, she sent a lengthy letter and expressed a lot of things that I'm so thankful that the children will have from her. She begged me to write her and tell her all about the kids and to tell her what the girls' hair was like, and what kind of people the kids are becoming, and what they're doing for the summer, etc. It was the "perfect" letter to receive from a birthmother, and I can't wait until the postman delivers the hardcopy. What a treasure for the kids. It did have a little bad news, but it was news that we needed to know concerning the family, and I was thankful for the extra insight.

Anyway, I sat right down and wrote her back. Three long pages of letting her know all about how wonderful the kids are. (Of course, I could hardly think of a thing to say about 'em!) *wink, wink*

It was really emotional though, because here I was bragging up OUR kids. Not just mine, but hers too. They are part of her heart as well, and while bad things happened while under her charge, she still loves them, and I appreciate that more than I can express. Very strange to be telling someone all about your kids to someone who is ALSO their mother. Different kind of mother, but I respect her position in their lives too much to not acknowledge her as such. (But knowing it WAS their mother I was writing to, I got to really lay it on thick how wonderful they are without fear that I was bragging too much! I can't talk about 'em like this to just anybody you know. Well to you all, but you don't count, right?) ;O)

I hope the open lines of communication with her will help the children deal with any future "issues" that may arise because of their "adopted" status. I worry most about my Leksa Lu, who doesn't remember hardly a thing from before we adopted her, and nothing at all of "Mama Zhanna." Leks had very little to say about hearing from her, while the older two were firing suggestions at me as to what to tell her in the letter I was returning. Leks just sorta sat there and let it fly over her head.

Hope tomorrow is less emotional - I know it will still be busy, but I can take only so much... My girls turning so old this week (9 and 7!!) is hard enough on me to begin with!!!