Big Announcement!

Been holding out on you.

No clue why, but evidently God has decided to give us a baby in my tummy that would actually stick around. Which is weird, because I've been pregnant many other times and it has always ended quickly with an ectopic or an Abandon Ship.

I'm 12 weeks now, however, and the doctor says things are hunky-dorie. Heard the heartbeat on doppler, seen the heartbeat on ultrasound; the whole nine yards. We are floored. And amazed. And in shock.

We got to tell John's parents the news this weekend. My family already knew because I had to spill the beans to my dad as to why we couldn't drive down and do "Cooking Day" to fill his freezer with meals for so many weeks. And since I know my dad can't keep a secret, we had to quick tell the rest of my siblings before he did! ;O)

The kids are thrilled, but they have not enjoyed seeing me so sick, and frankly, it has stressed them out in many ways.

Aleksa is my official bucket-holder. I start gagging, and she runs to the garage for my mop bucket. She has been the most excited and least traumatized by the whole "new baby" idea. She's thrilled with the prospect of being a big sister. She wants a baby sister Big Time. And she wants to name her Bonnie! The weeks before we told the kids "the news" she saw the movie Rigoletto whose main character had that name. She also read a book where a horse was named Bonnie, and once she heard there might be a baby girl in the house, she has declared that it should be named Bonnie. Which is funny because that was my mother's name. But I didn't tell her that. Leksa is the one that has always reminded me most of my mom, so I find it interesting that she has such strong ideas about that name.

Liana has been sucking those lips, as you already know... especially after seeing the movie Sarah Plain and Tall which is about a father and two kids, who lost their wife/mother during childbirth. It really messed with Liana. She has already lost one mama in her life; it really shook her to the core to think she might lose another. She has needed tons of reassurance that God knows what is best, and that whereas the family on the prairie didn't have a doctor or hospital, that we have both, and they are excellent. She has not liked that I've been so sick, and haven't had the normal energy levels. Unfortunately it has come out with some control issues. We've gone round and round a lot more than usual over her need to control and be in charge of everything and everyone. Her big brother especially has not been impressed. Frankly, her mama hasn't been that thrilled with it either! She has needed lots of extra snuggles and reassuring, but also lots of correcting and reminding.

Adam has had a hard, hard time with my constant need of snacking or smaller meals spread throughout the day instead of three main ones. He still has a major food "Thing" that makes him irrationally furious with me when he sees me eating something that he doesn't have. Even if he has JUST had a snack or large meal, if I grab something different - even if it is a couple crackers, he will come into the kitchen and really start an attitude. I'll ask him what he wants for a snack, and when/if I choose something different, he will insist he deserves that too, on top of what he already has, and if I don't agree, he fumes.

I've tried waiting until he's off playing outside or in another room, etc., but if he hears the fridge or a cupboard, he will literally drop everything to come into the kitchen to see what I'm doing, and will stomp off seething because I haven't included him in my snacktime. (And yes, he has been getting lots of extra snacks; he's on a big growth spurt, and we've definitely indulged him. But he has some major heart-hurts in the food department, that have been tough to deal with with all of this Mama Snacking business.) If we let him, he would literally have something in his mouth allllllll day long. And not necessarily because he is hungry. Those food issues run right down to his core.

The other day at John's sister's house, the kids were all outside, and while they were, she passed out some chocolate chip cookies to us adults, explaining that there weren't enough for all the kids. I made sure to hide mine when Adam came back in the house for a minute. It would have really hurt and angered him.

All this food stuff has been revving up many of his old food behaviors. Like licking out the container of honey-mustard from Burger King on our trip home this weekend. He *must* lick every drop of everything he is eating. We've been having to watch him with his plates, because he has been licking them, and licking crumbs off the table. We haven't seen this behavior for a long, long time. I will never understand hunger like he has known.

We have some neighbors that have been giving the kids snacks whenever the kids stop by. Like bakery cupcakes with toys stuck in the top, and Little Debbie Snack Cakes, and candy, etc. That kind of stuff we don't really keep around here except on Very special occasions, and the kids have been looking for excuses to go visit those with the best treats. We eat healthy snacks of fruits and raw veggies, boiled eggs, sandwiches, yogurt, cheese, baked goods, etc. So. I have some major competition, and I'm thinking it might be time to go talk with the neighbors about "feeding" the kids. Unfortunately, most people just don't have a clue about food/attachment/adoption issues, and we parents just come off as Big Overprotective Psychos. I'll probably chicken out. *sigh*

Because I've been so sick, I haven't been able to do extra baking/cooking. I hadn't really realized how big of a deal that was to Adam for me to do so, though really, I should have. This last week I've finally been feeling "ok" and before our trip back home this weekend, I did a bunch of cooking to bring to Dad for his freezer meals. Adam was my right hand in the kitchen all week. He didn't much like that I was packing up so much for Grandpa and not him, but we did make doubles of most things for our own freezer also, and that took some of the sting out of it. Looking forward to being completely done with this morning sickness stuff so we can get back to normal with our cooking routine.

So, anyway, that's our news! Good news, and while the children are thrilled with thoughts of Little Fish, they've had some adjusting to do, and it has obviously resurfaced some old insecurities.