Busy doing and busy thinking

So much floating through my head lately. The hurricane, the new school year, getting the house organized before school starts in again, the anniversary of my mom's death, having the children dedicated at church on Sunday, then before that it was all "One Year Home" stuff. What a whirlwind of a month, but it's just going to continue on with the school year coming into full swing again.

Thursday marked three years that my mom has been gone. I feel horrible that I didn't remember that until the next day. That's when we went to my aunt and uncle's 50th. Aunt Karen is my mom's sister. She's so much like her in so many ways. Same hands, similar features, same way of speaking. Karen even wore Mom's perfume on Saturday. I overheard her talking to one of her kids about something or other and I *know* my mother would have used the exact same words, in the same tone of voice with the same expression on her face. It made me smile, but I did have a few lumps in my throat. It was cool to remember Mom in so many little ways that I wouldn't have thought of otherwise, and haven't thought of in a long time. I really miss her!

Sunday we had the kids dedicated at church. Actually, we had me and John dedicated to being the parents we need to be for them. The longer we've had these kids the more I realize what an emormous repsonsibility we have. It's pretty humbling. I really pray they turn out ok inspite of us! (I should say "me" - John is an awesome Papa!)

It's been a busy few days. I'm trying to get the house all organized and the kids' clothes all sorted and ready for fall, plus getting ready for the new school year to kick in. I had to snort a few times when I realized that amid all the shoe/undie collecting for the Ukraine packages, that OUR kids needed some too. So, this week we will all pile in the car to get some sneakers. How ironic! lol!

By the way, the very next day after we brought "Jeff" home, he made himself a cocoon-thingie in that plastic bin. Couldn't believe it. We have him under the deck, and hopefully he'll be safe over the winter. We hunted online looking for what kind of caterpillar we had. We looked at hundreds of caterpillar pictures, but we're pretty sure he's a polyphemus moth. According to the info we found, he'll stay in his cocoon until next June! Liana was crushed, but at least he didn't crawl away like I figured he would!

I don't know how many of you are affected by Hurricane Katrina, but even though I don't have any family down there myself, I'm just sick about all the chaos this storm has caused. My niece's husband's family lives in New Orleans. Check that. Lived in New Orleans. They have all pretty much lost everything. I can't even comprehend that. Not even slightly. Counting my blessings, but praying hard for those whose blessings have washed into the ocean. What a tragedy.

I've been chatting with a lady who is in the process of adopting three kids from Liberia, Africa. I didn't even really know you COULD adopt from there, so it has been interesting to learn a little more about it. At lunch today, just to see what the kids would say, I asked them, "So, if we ever adopted any more kids, should we adopt from Ukraine, or should we adopt from Africa?" Always looking for an adventure, Liana shouted, "Africa!" When I asked her why, she said, "Mama, we've already adopted from Ukraine." What cracked me up about that statement was the word "we."

I doubt we'll ever adopt again though. Maybe if our ship came in. I'd love to go around adopting sibling sets in different continents. That's a cool dream, but then reality hits and I realize that THIS sibling set at our house is about as much as I can handle! (And I do a poor job handling just them some days!)

Sorry this blogging stuff has been so inconsistant. I've been busy doing and busy thinking.

Jeff the Caterpillar

Adam and Jeff

Today the girls and I went to my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party at their cabin.

It was a wonderful day up until it was time to leave. That's when Liana shouted, "Look, Mama!" and as I turned around, she jiggled a Giant Green Caterpillar at me.

Freaked. Me. Out.

Nothing gives me the heeby-jeebies like Giant Green Caterpillars. At least not like this kind. I've never seen one like it. My brothers thought it might turn into a teradachtyl instead of a butterfly. I just can't imagine what kind of creature this thing could possibly become.

Anyway, Rotten Cousin Sue came up with a plastic box to put the caterpillar in to take home. Great. (She did ask me if it was ok to give the box, so, *sigh*, she wasn't entirely rotten, but... ;O) ) Liana proudly took "Jeff" home and made a nice little abode for him in a shallow plastic tub. This thing is staying OUTSIDE. Whereas I bragged about how wonderful I was about the various bunny situations in my life, I'm not so wonderful about 3" juicy green creepy-crawlies. Especially when Liana is wagging it at me and practically chasing me around the yard to taunt me.

I'm not safe anymore. She found my achilles...

Cage, Penguins and Rabbits

Susie's Tummy
Susie's Cage

Over the weekend, John and I designed and constructed a brand new cage for Susie. It was purely a guilt thing. She now has a 24"x25"x?deep" wood cage with a long window in the back and a partially opened top for little hands to easily pet her. We still need to round/scoop off the top edges of the petting section, but it's good enough to let her use for now. She's got it made. She can now climb on the outside of the toys she could only climb inside of just a few days ago. She loves it, and so do we. The only problem is that we don't really know where to put the thing! It's in the livingroom right now, but I'm not terribly thrilled about that idea. She'd been in there before, but I didn't like that my house smelled hamster-like. We'll have to do some figuring on that one. Kind of an eyesore too! (But I don't care a whole lot about that... As long as my hamster and my kids are happy, then so am I!)

Yesterday Auntie Sharon took the kids to see the National Geographic documentary "The March of the Penguins." They've read several penguin books before yesterday, so they were excited about learning more about them. Liana talked Auntie Sharon's ear off with questions during the whole thing, *grin,* but nobody was traumatized by some of the birdies dying. They loved it.

Speaking of things dying, or about to... Liana and Co. found a baby bunny in the yard yesterday and caught it. It wasn't hurt; it was just timid and too slow for its own good. Liana zipped it in her little purse and swung it all over the yard yesterday morning, (unbeknownst to me, I'll have you know). Leksa finally spilled the beans. I called Liana over to me, took her purse, dumped the mortified (and probably rather dizzy) baby bunny out, explaining that the bunny's mama was probably not going to want to take care of it now because it now smelled like Liana and not a baby bunny, and that it very well might die. She felt really bad, poor kid. (I found out later that she went into the house and cried.)

I was actually pretty proud of myself for not having a cow about the whole thing, but when I was a little girl of Liana's age, something similar happened with a bunny and my big sis DID have a cow. (Didn'tcha, Sharon?!) I figured she felt bad enough, so she didn't need a further lecture (whereas I still can't figure out why my sis had the cow about MY particular rabbit).

I had been conducting a science experiment. A bunny had died in our yard, so the neighbor kids and I buried it, and then dug it up every day to see what it looked like. The day it had maggots on it and we all started screaming was the day my sis was over. She chased all my friends away, and I'd never heard vocal chords hit such high notes, or seen faces pop so many veins. What was the big deal? It was already dead! She reburied it in a place she never let me know of - (though I searched the yard pretty well looking for loose dirt) - and to this day I don't have a clue what the big deal was! lol!

Poor Susie!

We just had one of those nights where we knew we were parents *for sure.*

Susie got loose again. We'd had her in her exercise ball this evening, and since that's how she usually gets loose, we had some duct tape on the lid. Anyway, after looking for a million years, we finally gave up, tucked the kids in, and I immediately found her in our closet poking around. No problem. Except. Except that the 2" piece of duct tape that had kept one side of the lid on her ball closed was now firmly pressed on the side of her fuzzy little body. It was horrible. We had to get a scissors out and try to snip duct tape off of our furry friend. And she was not a happy girl. 'Specially when John accidentally slipped and nipped her side. Susie actually screamed. I didn't know hamsters could do that, but John felt SOOOOO bad. Like, teary-eyed feeling bad. Like hafta-play-the-Nintendo-after-we-were-done-so-he-could-shake-off-how-horrible-he-felt kind of bad. We had to put her in a deep box for the night until we can really clean out her cage well tomorrow. I put new pine chips in the bottom of the box to make her comfy though, and gave her her wheel and food/water. We didn't want her germy cage to infect her little tummy. We plan to buy her a new ball (and maybe even cage) on Saturday. (Did I mention how horrible we feel about our Sus?) Never thought in a million years I'd ever have to do minor surgery on a hamster. Especially one involving silver duct tape! Never a dull moment around here!

Another website to watch

Here's a website of a family who has taken their three kids with them to Ukraine, and will be adopting three more! The kids in this family also have a spot on this site to blog too, so it's been a fun one to read.
Here ya go!

ONE YEAR HOME!!!!!!!!

Adam
Liana
Aleksa

Can't believe it. We lived to tell about it! "The Hard Year" is done. Behind us. Let the good times roll!

But seriously, we've had good times this last year! Sure, there have been some tense moments here at the Fisher house, (and undoubtedly there will be many more), but by and large, we've had a blast!

Probably a big part of the reason they say that the first year is hard is because you really are still getting to know the children and they you. That's a process, not a switch. I'm constantly getting to know my kids. As they have "aged" this year, I've had to get to know them over and over again. There is no doubt in my mind that Aleksa, for instance, aged emotionally and intellectually about two years in this year. At least. And that has radically changed her personality. (Good thing! Remember the Warrior Princess?)

You're also still getting to know them health-wise that first year. We are just finally getting to the bottom of Adam's problems, and that has been extremely stressful. (Lots of appointments this summer). Lots of middle-of-the-night wondering if your child is going to have a normal, healthy and productive life. The language issues mask so much. You really don't quite know who you've got until their English kicks in. Same goes with their emotions. Who you come home with may be a very different person than who you wind up with after they've settled in to your family. "Is my son throwing a fit because he's a normal 3-yo, or because of his emotional baggage of his background? Oh no, what if he needs ritalin!? Or psychotherapy?"

Plus wondering if you love them all enough, or one not enough, or wondering how to reach one better, or whatever. It definitely would have been a LOT easier to adopt just one child. All our energy could have been poured into the one. Only one to worry about bonding with. Much easier than three at once, for sure. And I couldn't even imagine how the adjustment would be if I'd had biological children to compare them to. Because I for one, did not love all three "then" like I do "now." -And having a bio kid to compare that too would be extremely stressful. "What am I doing wrong? Am I a bad mother?" That's probably just my own personality factoring in there, as I know there are many, many families who successfully and happily adopt with bio children already in the mix. I already think I'd have a hard time if we adopted again. Would I love another child like I do these guys? I'd feel so guilty until I did! (Sorry for the rabbit trail. Just thinking out loud...)

It has also been a difficult year physically. I'm tired. Mama ustala. I've never cleaned my house so much in my entire life like I've cleaned my house this year. And even with all the cleaning, it is constantly a clutter pit. I'm constantly sweeping, vacuuming, picking up, doing laundry, dishes, etc. Finding my "groove" has been HARD. In fact, out of this whole year, I think the most difficult part for me has been carving out a new life routine that works. That has caused me the most stress of anything, I think. I've constantly felt like a circus-performer who spins plates on the stick. I have felt like I'm about ready to drop all the dishes any second. Trying to balance everything has been hard. I'm really bad about not making time for me and John - we've been on maybe two dates since the kids came home. How horrible is THAT? Also, I've not really made time for myself. I need to get out more. Walmart doesn't count. (I try to pretend it counts, but it doesn't. I'm still in "Mama mode" at Walmart thinking about the needs of the household and kids.)

Anyway, about today. Adam and Aleksa woke up sick. They've been sick, but they woke up sicker. Of course, we had family pictures scheduled. Not terribly crazy about them, but we did it. *sigh* We had one taken with a flag background, and it really turned out nice. I ordered quite a few of those. Had to! This was their One Year Anniversary of their U.S. citizenship! What lucky ducks! We also had their pics taken with their Ukie outfits too. They could still squeeze into them (well, Adam barely did), so I figured we'd best do it before we couldn't anymore.

There wound up being three big boxes to UA. That's 85 pounds worth of stuff! John and I bought an air-sucker-outer "foodsaver" and got about 2 boxes of undies/socks into one box. I stayed up 'til after 11:00 last night packing, taping, labeling, etc'ing. There wound up being 75 shoes, and 364 pairs of undies, btw. AND, there were enough contributions toward shipping that it was FREE!!!!!!! (CAN YOU SAY *WHEW*?) ;O)

We also celebrated by giving the kids gifts that I had bought from a friend who crochets and sells cows for her adoption fund. It was fun to tell the kids that these cows would help another child or two come home from Ukraine. I'm not sure they fully understood, but I sure did! (Missy, we're praying for you!) Aleksa had to sleep with hers tonight. But Twinkle had to come to bed too. She doesn't call the cow a "cow" though. She calls it her goat. She calls her "My Pretty Pony" her "donkey." A little confused yet about the farm animals! ;O) (If anyone is interested in the cows, please let me know. I'll put you in touch with her. Great cause!) ;O)

One year home. It flew! It dragged! ;O) (Just kidding!) I hope all of you out there who are waiting, (or just still praying at this point!), can one day soon have your arms and laps full and overflowing. It's been the happiest year of my life.

Thank you North America!

<

We got three boxes of shoes/undies all at once today, and the kids about had a field day with excitement. They all three helped ripped open the *very* well-packed boxes, and oohed and aaahed over the fabulous shoes and undies. I've been overwhelmed with how far-flung people have been sending their "stuff" from. We've had two packages from Canada, one from HI (I think that's the abbreviation for Hawaii, right?), NY, CT, TX, one of the Carolinas (can't remember which right now), IL, MN, WI, FL, NJ and I'm absolutely certain that I've forgotten a few places. (These are off the top of my head, so please forgive me if I've forgotten your state.)

I just hauled *everything* out today to count up what we've got, and not including the $60 that the kids get to shop with (they'll do that tomorrow since we now know what we have and what we might need), we have 321 pairs of undies and 64 pairs of shoes (and they are all NICE shoes at that!), 2 pairs of boots, 1 pair of mittens, 46 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of tights, and 30 toothbrushes.

Once I pulled all the "goods" out to count, the kids really started to get excited about our project. They went through their closets (again!) to find shoes that are probably outgrown and then started scrubbing them up to send. Liana and Adam sat out on the deck scrubbing their old shoes for a good long time chattering about which of their friends they hoped would get new shoes.

Feels great to be able to do this. Thanks so much everyone. You did a good thing.

Ring and Before/After for Adam & Leks

Don't have a lot of time to sit at the computer, but in the absence of text, I thought I'd post some pics. Enjoy!

Court Date Anniversary

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of our court date. All these celebrations are really exhausting! Didn't make a cake. ;O)

I did get to pick up the mother's ring that I ordered on my birthday. Instead of using the traditional "birthstones" I let each kid pick out what color stone they liked. I wasn't there for their births, so their "birth" stone doesn't mean much to me. (Plus two peridots and a garnet wouldn't have been much to oooh and aaah about...)

Adam picked a blue sapphire, which suits his personality really well. (And he looks super-handsome in blue!) Liana picked a red ruby, which I'm sure I don't have to comment on how perfect that is. Aleksa changed her mind several times, so I steered her toward a yellow topaz. Aleksa has always reminded me of my mom, so I thought it would be nice to use my mom's birthstone. Plus, waaaay last fall/winter I said to her, "Aleksa, you know I love you, don't you?" And she replied, "Yes, I'm your sunshine." So, yellow has struck me as an Aleksa color for a long time. (She even asked for a yellow dress back when she was still at the orphanage.) Anyway, I had the stones set so they are red then blue, then yellow. Red and blue for the American flag, and the blue and yellow for the Ukrainian flag. I love it. Couldn't have packed much more meaning into this little ring if I tried!

*happy Shelly*

Leksa's Birthday!

Well, I'm officially caked out. Don't want to see another hunk of cake for the next ten years. Or at least until Adam's birthday! ;O)

We have a five year old! We've never had a five-year-old before! Except, I guess, when we met Liana. She was five for a few days after we met her. Leksa woke up so proud to be big now! Such a cutie. She got her crown, breakfast in bed, stroller and umbrella, packages and visits from the same people who came through for Liana. It was almost comical how similar their days were. Except that John had to work today and we didn't do mini-golf. Her cake was much prettier, however. I made it. I take that back... Aleksa got to stir the batter a bit, and got to dump the water in it for me. Much better. I frosted it while she and the others were outside playing. When she came in and saw it all decorated, she actually was so excited that she kissed the cake! (Hey, I'd rather eat her kissed cake than Liana's slimy-frosting mess. *shiver*)

In spite of how similar their days were, Liana has been jealous allll day long of the attention her sister got today. John says he saw it right away this morning when we had breakfast in Leksa's bed. He says Liana looked too quiet and contemplative.

This really has been the first time I've seen such an obvious jealousy between the girls. I'm surprised it hasn't come before, though. When people first meet the kids, they *always* tell us how adorable Aleksa is, and how sweet her smile is, etc., etc. I try to pipe up about all three of them, but people just don't see how horrible favoritism is. I really hope that Liana doesn't come to resent her little sister some day because of it. Some people just show it in body language (easy to do since Leksa is a snuggler), but Liana and Adam get the short end of the affection stick quite a bit from people outside our family. Drives me kinda crazy. Adam can't help that he isn't a cuddly pre-schooler, but he needs that affection just as much or more so than Aleksa. Liana can't help it that she doesn't give her smiles away to "just anyone." Not a whole lot I can do though. Aleksa is cute, and her sunny personality makes people really drawn to her. I can now really see how the favoritism at the orphanage happened. It is happening here in America!

Liana survived, but it really came out at church tonight. Whereas she started out quiet this morning in her jealousy, this evening she ended it at the top of her lungs. She pretty much acted like a monkey trying to suck everyone's attention to her. She was climbing on vehicles in the parking lot, laughing/screaming, shrieking, etc., etc. Pretty much, being a nightmare. She gets to call one lady in the morning to apologize for the car thing. (She had been asked to quit it, but the quarter had already been put into the nickel slot, and she had a hard time digging it out at that point...)

Looking forward to normal again. Birthdays are fun, but they are traumatic too! I don't like them getting older, and neither do their siblings! Let's just call off all the rest of them....

Misc happenings

Yesterday we stopped at a friend's house so she could show us how to feed her cat and water her flowers while she and her family are on vacation. While we were there, her twin daughters hopped on their bikes and declared that they were going to the pool. "Can I swim in your pool too?" asked our kids. Mrs. W. explained that it wasn't her pool, but the city's pool. (She lives in a different city than we do, so our kids haven't ever been there.) The kids asked if they could go. Mrs. W. told them that was up to their mom. "Where's the pool?" they asked. Mrs. W. pointed north-west. We promptly forgot about it. Mrs. W. and I chatted away and suddenly Adam asked, "Mama, where are Liana and Aleksa?" They had disappeared. They went to the pool. Well, they THOUGHT they were going to the pool. I take that back. LIANA thought she was going to the pool, and Aleksa went along with her big sister for kicks.

So, off Mrs. W. and I went looking for our girls. Found them a couple blocks away, and instead of being surprised that we were out looking for them, Liana said, "I didn't see any pool."

That's the second time in two weeks I've had to go looking for her. I can't remember ever having to do that before. New 7-yr-old wings? I dunno, but boy, do we need to get that strong will harnassed somehow! Liana at 16 is a scary thought for me right now. Like *really* scary.

At the library the other day we had yet another bathroom event. I went into the stall with Aleksa, but Liana was in the one next to us. Liana's toilet flushed three times before she was done, and she asked over to Aleksa if hers was flushing on her. It wasn't (I was blocking the sensor.) So, when Aleksa and I left the stall to wash our hands, I turned around in time to see Liana's bare butt crawling under the wall of the stall over to Aleksa's newly-vacated one. Evidently she had had enough of her constantly-flushing toilet and wanted to try out Aleksa's quieter one.

Never a dull moment around here, that's for sure!

While I spent the few days before Liana's birthday gearing up for preparations, etc., I've put Aleksa's off 'til the very last minute. This morning it hit me *hard* that 'Leks is having her 5th birthday tomorrow. At the breakfast table, I said something about this being the last day of having a four-yr-old, and suddenly I found myself bursting into sobbing tears. All three kids' eyes widened and everyone froze waiting to find out what on earth was up with me. Good thing Adam's isn't this week too... my heart just can't take it! After I explained that I didn't like having my babies grow up, Adam came up to me, and with a twinkle in his eye, he said, "Mama, on January 14th, I going to be 11 years old." He got a tickle for that.

Aleksa wanted the same things as Liana got, so it's going to be a deja-vous birthday. As long as she's happy! (She even told me where I needed to hide her presents.... In the same places we hid Liana's!) The only thing different is the menu. (Yay!) She wanted verenyky for supper (good girl, Leksa Lu!), and chocolate cake and chocolate frosting and chocolate ice cream. (My kinda woman!)

Update on Liana's birthday

Before it becomes Aleksa's birthday tomorrow, I'd better get around to filling the blanks of what happened for Liana's.

We made her a princess crown to wear for the day, complete with aluminum foil to make it shine. She loved it. Then we had breakfast in bed... all of us in her bed. That was interesting with cereal. (We did Malt-o-Meal with Adam's birthday breakfast).

Then Aleksa and I hid Liana's presents around the house. She only had a few of them, so we wanted to make it special. A friend from NJ sent her a package too, and she LOVED opening that. A friend of the family stopped over with a birthday cookie (a big chocolate chip cookie with "Happy Birthday" on it.) She also brought a few small presents like color book and crayons and a little porcelain teddy bear holding a block with an "L" on it. Grandma and Grandpa brought over their present on Sunday (there was a family wedding on Saturday.) Altogether (aside from what I already mentioned), she got a baby stroller, an umbrella, a sewing kit, a scooter, pop-beads to make jewelry, a fleece poncho/jacket/robe, some birthday money and some hair accessories. Pretty much, she made a haul.

When I went to make her birthday cake, she about had a cow. She didn't want ME to make her cake. SHE wanted to do it. She "knew how" she said. Afterall, she'd just watched me make my own a few days ago. So, I told her how much of what to add, and she did it all by herself. Right down to cracking the eggs. She was sure proud! (But this girl really goes to town with the frosting. YUCK. I literally couldn't tell where to put the candle in - there was so much frosting that it slid off the sides. Next time, I'm decorating the cake!) She also got to pick her birthday supper, which I was pretty forlorn about. She wanted Tator Tot Casserole. (NOT my favorite, but John loves it, so I hafta cook it once in a while. Unfortunately the kids love it too. *sigh*) So, I didn't particularly care for *any* of the birthday supper, but Princess Liana enjoyed every bite, and I guess that's all that matters!

We all went to play a game of mini-golf in the afternoon. It was a hot day, but they had fun chasing their balls around and having us cheer for their 17 strokes to hit their par 2 hole. It drove John a little crazy that they didn't care about good form, but hey, so what!

It was a fun day, and she told us several times that she was so happy and that she never had a birthday before, and never had this much fun on her birthday before, etc. I'm glad she liked it. It was fun making such a fuss.

Happy Birthday Liana!

Today is my Liana's birthday. Right now she's still alseep, so nothing festive has happened just yet. I just felt like posting because I'm feeling all reminiscent; probably because we celebrated last year's birthday in Ukraine and I have seen what an enormous year this has been for her. Like the biggest in her life! Last year on her birthday she was a scared, sick, skinny, child that I really wondered just how to "reach." Looking back at my blog from her birthday and the days before, she really reminded me of a stray cat... The kind that doesn't let you near, but definitely needs you. Needs some food, love, snuggles, etc. Liana didn't trust us, fought with us constantly, threw tantrums telling us she didn't love us and we didn't love her, and would run off at the drop of a hat. She was pale. She was ragged. She needed us, but didn't know how to accept us. Her love for us was not easily won.

But now! Oh, Liana, I'm so proud of you! You have learned to fit into a family beautifully! You, of all three kids, have needed us and loved us with your whole heart; and you learned to do it remarkably quickly.

While your brother was throwing tantrums last fall and telling us he was going to run away (and trying to convince you to do the same), you would tell him (still in Russian), that this was your home and that you finally had good food and a nice papa and mama and that you weren't going anywhere. I knew we'd officially won your heart by then.

Looking at the pictures from Ukraine and looking at you now, I just can't believe what a change there has been. You've gained 10 lbs, five inches, a whole new language, a glow and a beautiful smile. I'm so glad you are mine.

But you're 7! You're not supposed to be getting older all the time! You just turned 6 afterall! I know this year won't be as enormous as last, but that just scares me all the more. 8 will come before I blink, and then 9. Stay my little girl as long as you can, ok, Lianichka? I love you so very, very much.

Millilos!

Did y'all see the Millilo's blog today?! They have a referral for a perfectly healthy (on paper, that is; they haven't met him yet to know for sure!), little 18 mo old little boy in Dnipropetrovsk! I'm so happy they finally have a referral. (And a fantastic one, at that!) (The region is known for *always* imposing a 30-day waiting period though, *sigh*, but I'm sure they'll be the first to agree that great kids are worth the wait!) Very excited to see how the rest of their trip unfolds...