ONE YEAR HOME!!!!!!!!

Adam
Liana
Aleksa

Can't believe it. We lived to tell about it! "The Hard Year" is done. Behind us. Let the good times roll!

But seriously, we've had good times this last year! Sure, there have been some tense moments here at the Fisher house, (and undoubtedly there will be many more), but by and large, we've had a blast!

Probably a big part of the reason they say that the first year is hard is because you really are still getting to know the children and they you. That's a process, not a switch. I'm constantly getting to know my kids. As they have "aged" this year, I've had to get to know them over and over again. There is no doubt in my mind that Aleksa, for instance, aged emotionally and intellectually about two years in this year. At least. And that has radically changed her personality. (Good thing! Remember the Warrior Princess?)

You're also still getting to know them health-wise that first year. We are just finally getting to the bottom of Adam's problems, and that has been extremely stressful. (Lots of appointments this summer). Lots of middle-of-the-night wondering if your child is going to have a normal, healthy and productive life. The language issues mask so much. You really don't quite know who you've got until their English kicks in. Same goes with their emotions. Who you come home with may be a very different person than who you wind up with after they've settled in to your family. "Is my son throwing a fit because he's a normal 3-yo, or because of his emotional baggage of his background? Oh no, what if he needs ritalin!? Or psychotherapy?"

Plus wondering if you love them all enough, or one not enough, or wondering how to reach one better, or whatever. It definitely would have been a LOT easier to adopt just one child. All our energy could have been poured into the one. Only one to worry about bonding with. Much easier than three at once, for sure. And I couldn't even imagine how the adjustment would be if I'd had biological children to compare them to. Because I for one, did not love all three "then" like I do "now." -And having a bio kid to compare that too would be extremely stressful. "What am I doing wrong? Am I a bad mother?" That's probably just my own personality factoring in there, as I know there are many, many families who successfully and happily adopt with bio children already in the mix. I already think I'd have a hard time if we adopted again. Would I love another child like I do these guys? I'd feel so guilty until I did! (Sorry for the rabbit trail. Just thinking out loud...)

It has also been a difficult year physically. I'm tired. Mama ustala. I've never cleaned my house so much in my entire life like I've cleaned my house this year. And even with all the cleaning, it is constantly a clutter pit. I'm constantly sweeping, vacuuming, picking up, doing laundry, dishes, etc. Finding my "groove" has been HARD. In fact, out of this whole year, I think the most difficult part for me has been carving out a new life routine that works. That has caused me the most stress of anything, I think. I've constantly felt like a circus-performer who spins plates on the stick. I have felt like I'm about ready to drop all the dishes any second. Trying to balance everything has been hard. I'm really bad about not making time for me and John - we've been on maybe two dates since the kids came home. How horrible is THAT? Also, I've not really made time for myself. I need to get out more. Walmart doesn't count. (I try to pretend it counts, but it doesn't. I'm still in "Mama mode" at Walmart thinking about the needs of the household and kids.)

Anyway, about today. Adam and Aleksa woke up sick. They've been sick, but they woke up sicker. Of course, we had family pictures scheduled. Not terribly crazy about them, but we did it. *sigh* We had one taken with a flag background, and it really turned out nice. I ordered quite a few of those. Had to! This was their One Year Anniversary of their U.S. citizenship! What lucky ducks! We also had their pics taken with their Ukie outfits too. They could still squeeze into them (well, Adam barely did), so I figured we'd best do it before we couldn't anymore.

There wound up being three big boxes to UA. That's 85 pounds worth of stuff! John and I bought an air-sucker-outer "foodsaver" and got about 2 boxes of undies/socks into one box. I stayed up 'til after 11:00 last night packing, taping, labeling, etc'ing. There wound up being 75 shoes, and 364 pairs of undies, btw. AND, there were enough contributions toward shipping that it was FREE!!!!!!! (CAN YOU SAY *WHEW*?) ;O)

We also celebrated by giving the kids gifts that I had bought from a friend who crochets and sells cows for her adoption fund. It was fun to tell the kids that these cows would help another child or two come home from Ukraine. I'm not sure they fully understood, but I sure did! (Missy, we're praying for you!) Aleksa had to sleep with hers tonight. But Twinkle had to come to bed too. She doesn't call the cow a "cow" though. She calls it her goat. She calls her "My Pretty Pony" her "donkey." A little confused yet about the farm animals! ;O) (If anyone is interested in the cows, please let me know. I'll put you in touch with her. Great cause!) ;O)

One year home. It flew! It dragged! ;O) (Just kidding!) I hope all of you out there who are waiting, (or just still praying at this point!), can one day soon have your arms and laps full and overflowing. It's been the happiest year of my life.