We will be finishing up the Wizard of Oz tomorrow. The kids have been loving it. We checked out "Holes" today - someone recommended it here, can't remember who though. It looks good (Newberry award), and I'm looking forward to starting it up next week. We also checked out the dvd of the movie for the Wizard of Oz. I think we'll be the first family in America whose children read the book before seeing the movie. They're going to be disappointed not to see the part where the Scarecrow gets stranded on a stick in the river. We've taken this week and half of last week off as a Christmas break from school, but the books have been a constant. The chapter books go over Aleksa's head, but she loves storybooks, and will sit with a book and pretend she's reading the story aloud to her dollies. Usually it is a made-up one, but if she's read it a few times, she'll try to re-tell it. Very often, if one of her siblings is reading a book, she'll repeat whatever they have just "read" in her own story. It drives the other two CRAZY (especially Liana).
Speaking of Liana, I'm just not sure how to handle that girl! She's a sweetheart, of course, but boy does she like to be in charge. She's a mother hen to the Nth degree and will boss around anyone standing still long enough to let her. I'm not sure how to direct that energy in the right direction. Where's the line between letting her personality be what it is, to making her change to be less controlling? And how do you go about changing it? (This really surprises people just meeting her because she comes off as the shyest and most reserved. I'm sure people wonder if I know which of my kids is which!) I'm kind of stuck when it comes to her. Really not sure how to mother a mother. !. For example, when we were up north, the kids and their new cousins (that they had just met that day), were playing on a small trampouline in the basement. Liana was jumping on it, and a little boy climbed on too. She crossed her arms and very authoritatively said, "Who said you can jump here? Did your papa say?" I pulled her aside and had a chat with her about that boy not needing another mama, and about how she needs to be kind, and sharing things she's playing with, yadda, yadda, yadda. Hard, hard habit to break. Liana as a teenager may very well turn me gray unless we can nip some of these things in the bud or redirect them somehow.
Adam, on the other hand, who STARTED his life with us turning me gray, is rapidly settling in, chilling out, and my hair is starting to turn my beautiful shade of dishwater again. Just tonight he had to kiss and hug his sisters good-night, and he told them each that he loved them, and then as John and I tucked him in, he asked me if I would stay a little longer to chat. He has a soft spot for Mama (what a good boy!!! *grin*) He's usually the first to do what we ask, and he will do a great job to boot. Can't believe this is the same Adam we stepped off the plane with. He still has his hyper streaks, but they are fewer and farther apart, and not nearly as uncontrollable. Pretty much, he's a great kid. Pretty much, they all are!
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3 comments:
Happy Birthday, John!! It sounds like your first one as a papa was wonderful! Shelly, your children sound so deliciously normal- have faith that you are doing a fabulous job as their mother and enjoy them. By the way, Grandma Fisher, everyone should be so lucky as to have a mother-in-law as kind as you are! I love reading Shelly's blogs and your loving comments to them. Have a Happy New Year Fishers!!! Jo from the ttc adoption board
Hi Shelly - You don't know my but first of all I want to say thank you for keeping up your blog. My husband and I are on our way to Ukraine soon for an appointment at the NAC on January 31st. It has been so wonderful to hear how your "babies" are doing since you've gotten them home.
I also wanted to share something that might help Liana - I was adopted when I was seven - and we have adopted a 12 year old daughter two years ago. Both she and I had "control" problems. *smile* It stems from - as I am sure you understand - wanting to be in control so that things go the way you WANT them to - and from not having adults who were in control of what needed to be handled. Feeling unsure and unsafe. Most of that will pass with time - as she REALLY begins to settle in and feel comfortable and stable. For me that took a very long time - for our Jennifer it took about a year....although she is now a teenager and would LOVE to be in total control of her own life at least! LOL
The other thing I think helped me was that my mother had a talk with me about each persons role in the family - and what Mom and Dad had the jobs of doing....so when I would begin to boss around my younger brothers or take care of them....I would try to fix meals and send them to bath etc. - she would just tell me..."That's Ok Penny - that's Mommies job - I'll take care of it." and then of course she did take care of whatever - so that I knew I could trust her to do what her "role" was in the family.
You are an AWESOME Mom! Thank you again for sharing with us all. Penny
Shelly, I love reading your blogs. so many of the things that your children are doing is exactly what my grandson is doing. he is 8 and has decided that since mommy has no husband, he has to be the man. we are trying to get the bossyness out of him and realize he is just a kid. My sister never outgrew her need to be bossy. I just hope my grandson will.
voni from Kansas and a friend of Faustas
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