We didn't see any creepy-crawlies in their hair this morning, so we decided to go to church again. The kids did really well, and I don't think Liana stuck her tongue out at anyone this time. One of the boys at church gave Adam some stuffed animals and a picture of himself, and Adam was THRILLED. I came into his room tonight and saw the picture of Eric on his wall.
Anyway, the girls wore the dresses that Grandma made them. They have little pockets in the front that Liana took one look at and told me that they were just the right size for a cracker (animal cracker). Soooo, I thought that was cute, so they each got an animal cracker for each pocket.
We've made lots of progress this week with food. Adam is still asking for seconds, but most of the time he just asks for it to see if we'll give it to him; not that he actually wants it. He has left food on his plate more than a few times this week, and that has been a BIG deal for him. (Cleaning up yesterday's Bug Epidemic, I found a banana under a couch cushion that Adam had stashed. Who knows when. Ugh.)
As bad as yesterday's pill-taking was for Liana, she BEGGED for it this morning. Couldn't figure that one out. On a whim I had her just try to swallow it with juice. It went right down. (OOPS, sorry, Liana, I should have tried that yesterday with you!!!)
John took the kids to the park this afternoon while I stayed home and tried to take a nap. (What are those again?) Liana wasn't feeling well from her meds again, so she came home early. She knocked on my bedroom door and when she came in she shyly said, "ya khachu staboy." ("I just want to be with you.") Talk about melting my heart! Who needs naps anyway! Way overrated! So, Liana and I read books, cuddled, giggled, and then started supper. (She loooooves to help in the kitchen!)
I made Adam clean his room tonight and he pitched another fit about me and John not being his mama and papa. He just is soooo worried that we don't love him. We had a little chit-chat (as chit-chatty as I can be without speaking much more than baby-talk Russian to him!) about how I'm his mama and John is his papa, and that this was his house etc., but that Mama doesn't like rooms that smell like "foo" and since this was ADAM'S room, and not Mama's, that it was his job. It ended with a tickle fight where I sat on him and tickled him until he told me I was his "mamachka." Trust me, he needed that. Plus, I can't be called Mamachka too many times a day! ;o) (And yes, he did clean his room).
Things are progressing with Aleksa. She's bonding more and more with me, especially when I play that I'm her "lalichka" (little baby). Now when the others are in trouble, she doesn't get mad at me for getting after her siblings, she lectures THEM for being naughty to "Mamachka." (Did I mention that I LOVE when they call me that?) ;O) We still have a little ways to go, but she has made some huge progress this week with her bonding with us, and each day is better than the day before. The hitting that she used to do to us at the orphanage is completely gone now even when she is angry or scared. She hasn't bit us for a while either come to think of it. Progress. Yay!
It almost hurts how much I love those three sweet kids. I've gotta be the luckiest person in the world.
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5 comments:
Hey Shelly, I haven't followed the whole story but it is very heartwarming. I am in the progress of adopting and in my state we were required to take parenting classes. So I don't want to be arrogant and give unsolicited advice, but they taught us about the food hoarding, and maybe you will find this useful. They said for children who hoard food, you should always have something available. Keep some relatively healthy snacks on hand that don't spoil - like individually wrapped granola bars or little packs of nuts. Make a big deal of letting the child choose one after every meal and put it in his pocket "in case you get hungry" and emphasizing that he will ALWAYS have food available. Do the same thing at bedtime and let him put it under his pillow. MOst of the time, they never actually eat the food. You may find that he takes the snack out of his pocket or out from under his pillow and keeps a secret stash of food somewhere, but that is ok. He is really fulfilling a REAL NEED to know that he has food available all the time. And this way you avoid him hoarding messy foods that rot and smell bad. I hope I don't come across as a know-it-all, because I haven't ever had the occasion to try this and sometimes the things they teach in theory, don't acutally work. But I thought I would pass along the info in case you wanted to try it. Congratulations on your wonderful family. I can tell that you are a terrific mom. Blessings.
Uncles Jared! She DID? SHAME, SHAME! ;Op We had a long talk about not sticking our tongue out before church, so I guess *sigh* we'll have to keep plugging away at that one.
I should clarify about the food situation with Adam. He's doing GREAT! He doesn't beg for food all day long as he did when we first got home (as Liana did too). We give them lots of snacks during the day, and they never get around to asking for anything else. Lots and Lots and Lots of you have posted and or emailed me in the last few weeks about what to do about the food situation. We've heard everything from keeping snacks available in their rooms, to giving them lunchboxes, to giving them a spot in the fridge, to giving them each tupperware containers to keep in the fridge, to gallon ziplock bags, to more scheduled snacktime, to blah, blah, blah. Trust me, we've heard it all. We're doing the best we can, and we must be doing something right because it is getting better every day. Like I said, Adam is actually leaving food on his plate. He is even giving specific things on his plate to his sister or Papa (His "firsts" not his "seconds"). He would never, ever, ever have done that just a few weeks ago. (And the banana I mentioned in the post was NOT put there "just yesterday" from the looks of it *uck*). Liana has become the World's Pickiest Eater, and we really have to push her to clean her plate now. Aleksa too. Not concerned about those two at all.
That make everyone feel better? Maybe I'm just feeling a little defensive and insecure since our "buggy" day, but it's *really* hard to be under such an enormous microscope as the internet is and to have the free world wonder if I'm taking good enough care of meeting my children's "real needs." Oy.
Shelly
Shelly, glad that the the lice are GONE! (sigh of relief) You are doing fantastic as mamachka, by the way. I hope I can even come close to settling my child as you have with yours. Raising 3 children is a daunting (and blessed) undertaking. Be proud of yourself and the kids' progress. It's fantastic! Jo from the ttc adoption board
Shelly,
I really don't usually write people I don't know but I feel compelled to post you an e-mail. You seem like the Mom most kids can only dream of. I have followed your story from the earliest phases and am inspired by your honesty and willingness to be vunerable. And I am sure I have never read about such an adoption ready couple. You guys really know the issues and are so wise to be proactive about the attachment process. I have a big Italian family so they were not really enthusiastic about participating in the hands off policy at first. At a time when I was thrilled to death and wanted everyone to love on them like I was, it was stressful for me. And though he is now, at first my husband was not totally on the same page. How are you managing the exhaustion level? I actually kind of envy you where you are now. Your life needs to be inwardly centered. When they grow older the parent competes for time with those kids who wouldnt leave you alone so few years ago. Several times in the middle of the night I have been led to pray for you and your ongoing stamina. I hope you don't feel too much like you are under a microscope. In reality, you are leading a fascinating life that people are interested in.
Shelly,
Please don't stop blogging about the "afterwards" of this adoption. You truly inspire me to do so much. I just think if Shelly can do it so can I or anyone else as long as we are motivated enough! People are always gonna try to "help" you out. I for one have a very soft heart and if someone is emailing me or replying to me telling me advice sometimes I take it wrong or maybe I am not taking it wrong? That is one reason I hate not talking face to face but at the same time if I didn't have a blog like yours to read I would be kinda lost on certain issues.
On the food issue....I met my 17 month old this weekend and I know that might be too early to worry about food hoarding but she was starved for a long time when she was under 1 year so I was freaked out. You don't know how much of a relief it was for me to watch her eat and see that she put the food down. It might not mean anything for the future but for now it was comforting. I just want to let everyone know that you have no clue how scary that exact issue with food is until you come face to face with it. It is probably the worst one for me because I feel like I would be helpless trying to let them see they will always have food.
It sounds like you are doing a good job and I do think you are a wonderful mother! Lucky kiddos!
Ranee
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